Sarah Brumpton Guest Blog

20th February 2012 - What a difference a year makes. It is my son’s second birthday this Wednesday and we had a small family party to celebrate yesterday. It was so lovely to have my closest family and friends coming together to celebrate particularly as this time last year was in marked contrast as I was suffering severe postnatal depression. My depression was so severe that I had to be admitted to the Mother and Baby Unit at my local hospital in order to receive the correct treatment. During the months leading up to my hospital admission my behaviour was causing concerns to those around me, I was experiencing delusional thoughts and had become very withdrawn from my son. My husband was left to not only care for our one year old but also our eldest son as well. There are approximately 20 Mother and Baby Units around the UK and they offer treatment to women experiencing mental illness prior to or up to one year following the birth of their child. In my case it was decided that my son would not stay on the unit with me full time as he was almost one. By the time I was admitted my relationship with my son was non-existent, in fact I was so withdrawn from him that I kept asking to be admitted to the general psychiatric unit because I knew that he would not be able to stay with me. Most of my time on the unit was spent in bed much to the nurses frustration in fact they once told me I had to get up as decorators were going to be working in my room, how true that was I am not entirely sure! Strangely I do not recall talking to any of the other women on the unit, but I often spoke to the nurses. I will never forget the nurse who told me time and time again that I would get better, but I never believed her I was convinced that I had lost everything my husband, children, job etc. I was treated with a combination of anti depressants, Lithium and anti psychotic medication which after six weeks had the desired effect and I left the hospital a total different person to the one who was admitted. Since my discharge I have gone onto make a complete recovery, returning to work and restoring my relationship with my sons and my husband to whom I will always be thankful for maintaining our family life during one of the most harrowing experiences ever. For the past few months I have been researching support services available to those affected by postnatal depression with a view to establishing a peer support group in Nottingham. My research has led to make some fantastic connections with those around the country who are working to support women and their families and educate and inform others about pre & postnatal mental health conditions. I have been working with Self Help Nottingham which is an organisation which supports around 300 self help groups in Nottingham and the surrounding areas to get the project off the ground and we have organised an information meeting at their offices on 1st March. If anyone reading this thinks they may be able to help please feel free to contact me either via Self Help Nottingham, Face book – “Open House Nottingham” or openhousenotts@gmail.com. Together we can make a difference.      

Women's Village Articles

Be careful what you wish for


Now we are in the month of February and Valentines Day is only around the corner I thought it would be quite fitting for my first article to be on the subject of Valentines Day.

 
My husband and I do not really celebrate this occasion other than buying each other a card. My husband says this is because every day is Valentines Day with him but in reality I think it is because we are both so secure in our relationship that it is not necessary to buy each other chocolates or an over sized teddy bear.

 

I have not always been this confident in past relationships and I think that it is partly because of these past relationships that I now feel secure enough in my relationship not to make a fuss over Valentines Day.

 

I will not sulk, stamp my feet or pout just because twelve slightly withered and no doubt overpriced roses are not promptly delivered to me on Valentines Day.

 

It is the surprise romantic gestures and the little things my husband does for me that count. What matters is when my husband instinctively knows what I need (large glass of red wine and a chocolate bar) when I am having a bad day. These are the things that tell me that I am thought of, adored, cherished and loved. These are the things that cannot be purchased in a shop and gift wrapped with a huge bow on it, this kind of love and understanding is priceless to me.

 

Although if you were to go back in time 10 years it would be a different story, I was insecure in my relationship with my eldest son, Connor’s father. Valentines Day would ultimately end with me in tears, sulking and further disappointment when the roses did not arrive or the heart shaped box of chocolates failed again to transpire.

 

Then I thought that it was those gestures which proved I was loved. I was desperate to spend a romantic evening with my partner at the time, how I dreamed of being whisked away for a romantic surprise valentines break or meal, every time someone came into my office at work I was secretly praying that it would be the delivery man with a huge bouquet of flowers and as the day progressed with no sign of flowers my disappointment and ever present feeling of rejection would grow.

 

By the time I got home from work I would have worked myself up in such a state that I would be in tears - I was my own worst enemy. So desperate to be loved I would obsess on the superficial acts of love instead of looking at and appreciating the little acts of love that money cannot buy.

 

This valentines day I will buy my husband a card as usual and wish him happy valentines day but we will not buy presents for each other nor will we go out for an over priced unromantic meal together.

 

Instead I will get to spend my Valentines afternoon with my son, Connor, and his father (my ex-partner) whilst we attend a hospital MRI scan for Connor . . .

 

Do you suffer with Postnatal Depression or are you struggling with motherhood for what ever reason?  Visit Jo's blog or Facebook page and read other Mum's experiences which they have shared openly with one another to raise awareness and reduce the stigma which surrounds postnatal depression.   www.mumshelpmums.blogspot.com    http://www.facebook.com/Mums-help-mums-network