Birth Injuries and a bionic bum!

Seth had been my second pregnancy so I was not so naive to think that labour would be easy – it’s called labour for a reason, because its hard work! However what I did not expect would be to sustain injuries to my body that would change my life and the way I would feel about myself.

The traumatic delivery of Seth resulted in me being left completely incontinent.

It was horrific and I cried constantly, I was only 29 and my body has been left in ruins, I told my midwife immediately of the problems I was experiencing and she arranged an appointment within days for me to see an obstetrician.

Because I had experienced an assisted delivery I had been given a episiotomy so I was given an internal (front and back) examination to ensure that the episiotomy had not been the cause of my problems but I was told that it was healing nicely and that my sphincter muscles where still intact. That it was probably just the trauma of the delivery and to give it time and I would eventually return to normal. She was very dismissive and unsympathetic it was horrible and I felt hopeless. I cried and cried in her office and she agreed to refer me for pelvic floor therapy. I started to have pelvic floor and bio feed therapy weekly but my pelvic floor muscles were none existent and I had also lost the sensation when I need to go to the toilet (for a poo) (sorry I know this is horrible to talk about, i'm still mortified writing about it).

I had no sensation what so ever when I needed to go to the toilet and would literally just poo myself at any time without warning. I had no muscle control or sensation so even if I thought I need to go to the toilet I had lost the ability to hold it in.

From December 2008 to about April 2009 I had weekly bio feed sessions but with no improvement. The physiotherapist was amazingly supportive but the experience was horrible it was mortifying. I was finally referred to a rectal surgeon. I had every test and examination under the sun. I would cry my eyes out when they were doing scans, ultra sounds, I had cameras, tubes all kinds of invasive exploratory procedures, it was so embarrassing and just mortifying.

Finally the surgeon confirmed to me that the muscle that controls the sensations from the bowel to the rectum has been paralysed and there was little that could be done. It was un-repairable. I cried and cried hysterically for days. I found it impossible to come to terms with. I was a young mum, not long married woman, how could this happen?

I couldn’t walk far from my home, couldn’t go out socially and became a hermit only leaving home if I absolutely had to. I began to withdraw completely from my friends and made excuses not to see people. I ignored my phone and wouldn’t answer the door to people. I kept the curtains shut at home so no one could look in and I hide from the world. I would take medication everyday that would stop me going to the toilet completely but that wasn’t ideal as obviously it is not meant for prolonged use. I had to wear pads constantly.

Trying to manage a baby, do the school run and basic everyday life was horrific as I still had no feelings whatsoever and no warning sign that I needed the loo.

Finally in July 2009 I was referred to another surgeon who confirmed he could help me. I could not believe it. He specialised in surgery of a device called a Sacral Nerve Stimulator which could be connected to the Sacral nerve. The devise gave off an electronic frequency 24 hours a day that would stimulate the nerve and could, if successful give back some sensation and a little warning.

I would be given surgery with a trial devise first for a two week period to see if it would help my condition. In August I had surgery for the temporary devise. For a two week period I had wires hanging out of a dressed wound in my lower back which attached to a box which controlled the stimulation and I would need to keep a bowel diary to record the success or lack of.

I couldn’t shower for two weeks, I could barely walk for a week but I didn’t care. It worked, not 100% all of the time but there was a faint feeling there and enough warning to give me chance to run to the toilet. I was over the moon. It was difficult to get used to the feeling in my body though as the devise gave off an electronic frequency 24 hours a day and would need to stay switched on. It was a cross between pins and needles and tapping and I could hear a buzzing in my ears (almost I imagine like tinnitus) again I didn’t care.

After two weeks the trial was a huge success giving me a 70% improvement on my condition.

My surgery for the permanent devise was scheduled for the October.

This time the devise would be connected to my sacral nerve, all wires would be internal and a battery running the unit would be implanted in my buttock! The battery life is 7 years so I would need surgery every 7 years for the devise to continue to work.

I was informed that it wasn’t always as successful as the trial and that it was trial and error tuning the devise into the best frequency, there was a risk of pain at the sight the devise could slip internally or twist and there was a chance of infections. I would also need to restrict the kinds of activities I did. I’m not meant to lift anything heavy, stretch, do any high impact exercise. A slip or fall could damage it and there was also the risk of the wires coming out internally. I would also need to carry a hand held remote to turn the devise on and off if needed (for example going through airport security as any high electronic frequency could affect the frequency in my devise) the remote also enables me to increase or reduce the frequency.

After surgery I was in a lot of pain and again could not walk for days. Sitting was painful and driving was a no no but my life was changed for the better.

I had surgery again in September 2010 as the battery had slipped and twisted leaving me in constant pain, I couldn’t sit properly, driving was very painful. I used to lie on my front on the sofa at home to watch the TV.

I have also has times when the frequency has been wrong or in the wrong nerve, once it was in my sciatic nerve causing excruciating pain from my back, buttock, down the back of my leg and into my foot causing my foot to contort.

I see a specialist stoma nurse about every six months but she also makes herself available if I do something silly like, heavy lifting over stretching, slipping on ice or trying belly dancing! I have messed my frequency up so many times but she has always been great. She has a massive master devise like a big radio and she tunes me in again.

I am so thankful that I was able to have this surgery, it has changed my life. Things will never be normal again but the improvements have let me lead a normal life again and start rebuilding my confidence.