Pay it forward

I watched a film years ago called pay it forward, the idea was that you do a good deed for a stranger and instead of them thanking you they 'pay it forward' by doing a good thing for someone else, then they do the same for that personand so on it should continue to snow ball. It's an amazing idea and I recently came across a Facebook page promoting the same thing. You start of with a pay it forward wrist band and you do something for someone and give them the wrist band and they have do something for someone and pass the wristband on and so on.

It got me thinking, could we promote and encourage each other to 'pay it forward' with the Mums help mums network? My idea last week was for the Mums help mums network page to encourage users to share their experiences, thereby helping others to feel better or supported. It's amazing the difference you feel about things through just knowing that one person is feeling exactly the same as you. But is it possible to pay it forward by sharing the page? Would this count? We are kind of helping strangers by sharing, we are not doing it for any reasons other than to share and help someone else then the idea behind the page could be payed forward. If we did this we would not just be a small in numbers community, we could be world wide. We already have members in USA, Australia, India and Africa as well as in the UK. People are already paying it forward.

My personal experiences behind this idea have related mostly to My battle with depression and coping with family life. We as mums put ourselves under so much pressure of having to be so many different things (mum, wife, cleaner, sick nurse, PA, creative accountant plus try and work part time).

I have for years felt a failure. Thought that I was a bad mother cause I couldn't cope. I'd see other mums I knew who had more children than me, they seemed so perfect, not a hair out of place, not stressed, immaculately dressed, children clean and dressed normally, perfect behaved children, they'd be slim and just fabulous wifes baking cakes the perfect combination of yummy mummy and Nanny McPhee. Then I'd look at me. Seth no longer a baby - still struggling with the baby weight and some, my idea of personal grooming is a quick shower, teeth brushed, my hair is mad and the more crazed I am the madder my hair gets. I'm always running round at a million miles a hour, late most of the time, forgetful and istruggle to keep on top of the most basic chores at home.

Then someone said to me, 'your out of bed, the children are fed, dressed delivered to their respective school and nursery and your at work. You are not failing, you are fighting, and your doing ok and you've always had mad hair!' That made all the difference that one person saying it's ok, your doing alright.

So let's as a community try and 'pay it forward' this week. Any woman you know who feels inadequate or like she is failing or not managing. Tell them how well they are doing. They are not failing they are winning, they are strong because they are still getting up each day and having a damm good try at life.


Pay mums help mums network forward and see if we can go from just a page to a worldwide movement.